My eyes. My eyes are the only thing that link me to my past, these eyes have seen everything, every detail. The scary thing is, that is a hard thing to disguise to make eyes that have seen everything seem well, curious, like every thing I see is a new wonder. Something else to learn from. It is very difficult to shade the pain in my eyes with a blink or hide the suffering with laugh lines. But I try. And I am getting quite good at it. My one fear however, is that someone will look in my eyes, not at them but in them. And they will see the picture show of my life and they will know, know about everything that I have never spoken about. This is my biggest fear. Not even that they will reject me after figuring it all out. But the opposite of that, that they will ask questions that I cant answer for myself. that they will say something from a Hallmark card like "I will be thinking of you" or "I understand your pain, you can come to me" because the truth is, no one can understand, not until they have seen what my eyes have seen. So now I will go into the world with my eyes faintly covered, giving no one opportunity to look into them.