I have decided that it is really hard for me to "participate" in life without being negative. I think this is because, well when I watch people, they look so fake, they smile about nothing like idiots. I hope that not everyone is like this but I notice a lot of people are. For example, yesterday I was in a store, and I saw this couple holding hands and kissing a lot I just thought that it was wonderful, but then when I was leaving I saw them in the parking lot and he was yelling at her and pulling her toward him and she was yelling back saying "leave me alone" I just think that it is not fair to pretend to be happy, because then people look at you, like I did with that couple and for a moment I wanted to be them, and have someone like that around. When I saw them out side however, I got mad because they made me analyze my life over a lie. I really hope that every one isn't like this, that thought makes me sad.