Matt loves Volkswagen! I am sitting here in my journalism class, bored out of my freakin mind. There are no clocks in the damn room. It kind of makes me wonder, sometimes I feel like time is just standing still and I usually have the reassurance of the clocks to show me other wise. But not today. I have no reassurance. Nothing that tells me the world is still spinning. That's sort of a scary thought. Because if time stands still then I will be in this place forever. And I don't want that at all.

My grandma was put into the hospital yesterday. I am sad for her. Not because she is sick but because there is nothing there to make her want to get better. She is a bitter person. Life didn't turn out the way that she wanted it to so she is just mean. The pure sight or sound of happiness, in anyway, makes her nasty to be around. I wonder if I will be that. If I will just be stuck here in the superficial town, with superficial friends. And become bitter. At times I feel that I already am, that the happiness of one person makes me sad. But then I think that that could not be true because I love to see people smile and laugh and hug and be nice. I feel best when I am with people who hug and smile and laugh with me. So yeah now that I am done with random babbling.

I started my book on Friday. I was at JP's, and I started writing on a napkin and then I got some paper and started writing chapters. The problem is that they are really jumbled they just don't seem to fit correctly.

On Sunday I was able to see a lot of my friends in GH. None of them from there but they all gathered to St. Johns. I was also able to talk to the woman who is taking over camp. I really think that it will all work out ok. I mean yes it is going to be different but she just wants to make it good and safe and fun for us. And though most of us feel like camp is perfect (myself included) there are some things that need to change. Well I am at school and I want to shoot myself in the eye but instead I am going to get off and check my mail. Going out at lunch again. Go figure.